#4-NETWORKING

Networking. What a word! It's taken me years to know how to do this. In the beginning you are very often just standing there with a drink in your hand with a goofy smile on your face. You're standing there sort of like a display case waiting for someone to comment on your dress so you can pounce on them. It's weird and unnatural. There's a way to do it and I'm going to try to explain that here.

#1- DRESS THE PART
When I say this I don't mean you have to run out and buy a suit. In the beginning I wore suits- like a FREAK- and found that the most relaxed and approachable people were wearing a groovy shirt and a clean pair of jeans. You have to dress like YOU. Look like what you want to present to people. Style is important. You're style. Start there. Don't worry about what other people are wearing. But don't be intentionally contrary. Don't show up in weird shorts and old flip flops just because you're comfortable. Dress nicely as YOU. Also-here's a big one to wrap your head around. Dress as you would dress if you were where you wanted to be in life. What I mean is look like you're doing fine financially and appear relaxed..even if both aren't true. This is VERY important. Don't look and act broke. Feel and look like you're doing great. This will give the impression to the people you want to talk to that you're worth talking to because clearly...you're doing ok. You can worry about your cable bill later.

#2-HAVE BUSINESS CARDS
That's clear I would hope. Yes- appearance matters. People like a cool looking card thats different from everyone else. Seems ike the whole world gets those free business cards that have the company's website pronted on them. Thise are awful. Every person whose given me one says the same thing to me after I comment on how nice the card is (I'm lying). They say, "Yeah- well at least it was free!". This is a representative of you and what you think your business is worth. You can spend a very small amount of money for a nice card. Do it!

#3- DON'T DRINK BOOZE
Stay clean and treat this like business. It can be fun business, but it's still business and you must have all of your brain cells alert for a possible glint of an opportunity. Plus, taking care of yourself is attractive. People like that. Plus listening is key and you're going to do a lot better at listening with seltzer in hand.

#4-LISTEN
Make it your goal to ask people what they do and really listen to them. Find something in there that interests you, even if you could care less about accounting. You never know who people know. If people knew who I knew I'd have a red carpet in front of me everywhere I went.

#5-SUM YOURSELF UP
When it's your turn to talk about what you do say it in one sentence. Also, depending on who you're talking to, know how to punch up certain sections more than others. Also say it like you love it! If you are excited about what you do you will intrigue the person you are talking to. Why? Because most people are miserable at their jobs and when they find someone who loves theirs...well...it's a treat and can be very inspiring.

#6-KEEP THE "DAY JOB" TO YOURSELF
Ok, so you are a waiter full time and haven't made a lot of money as an artist yet. SO WHAT!!! Never ever ever define yourself by how you pay your bills. Define yourself by your passion...ONLY! Nobody wants to hear how you're struggling. They want to hear how you're succeeding. Empower yourself. Read THE SECRET. What you say and think is what becomes the reality. Plus you don't want to be doing your day job. Talk about what you do want to do and say that's what you do!

#7- DO YOUR HOMEWORK
If you can access a list of who is attending an event prior to your arive then google everyone. If not, then research what you can and be sure to follow up with everyone you meet the next day either by phone or email. Email is my preference. It's less obtrusive, particularly when I don't really know a person. Plus you can hang up on email ( ;

#8- DON'T BRING YOUR DATE
C'mon! You're there to do business. If I want to talk to you about what you do then I really don't need your husband standing there looking at me with eager silence...or worse...like he could care less. Truth is, unless you are known professionally as a couple it's a crutch to bring your spouse. Just dive in alone! Be brave! Plus never under estimate sex appeal. I'm not sayin gflirt and cheat on your spouse at these things, but no need to advertise your love life. Just look fabulous and WORK IT!

Please let me know if you use my tips and how they work for ya! Good luck!

#3-YOU CAN DO ANYTHING

We all say "I can't". All the time. Out loud or just in our heads. I actually think society programs this. Maybe to make us dependent on drugs and food and sex and all of those wonderful things we sometimes use to distract ourselves from what we're thinking. It's tragic really.

I've said "can't" to myself. It's usually when I feel afraid. Like I'm suddenly face to face with some huge challenge and either I don't WANT to do it or I'm AFRAID I won't succeed. Or worse...I'm afraid I will succeed. Someone told a great story in a seminar I took this last weekend at the Commercial Theatre Institute. They were talking about the famous wagon trail people took to get to California. It was straight and flat and for miles and miles. But you knew you're goal because at the very end of the road was a big mountain and you could see it. On the one hand it was great because you could see your final destination, but on the other hand it was so far away and seemed like you might never get there. The worst part is it took so long to get there and people has this goal in their head for so long that when they finally got there they freaked out. They didn't know what to do with themselves. At least on the long trail they knew what their goal was. Problem was...that was their only goal. Getting there.

That story scares me to death. I feel like my whole life I have been striving for this one goal. To be a working actress. As time marched on I branched out into producing, teaching, selling real estate, many things. Each one of these branches started to have their own goals. But that one goal of mine is still true. To make a living as a professional actress. Here's whats scary. I've done that. I have actually made enough money to live on as an actress already, but somewhere in my head I think I haven't reached that goal yet. Perhaps what has happened as a result of all of the influence of the various branches of my career, my goal has changed. It's evolved. Making money as an actress isn't all I want. Or if it is, how I go about doing at and what projects I do has become more specific.

Now I want my production company to be up and running with major gas in it's tank. I want the freedom to act or direct or produce or write what I want when I want. I want to continue to teach. It's my way of giving back. I also want to give striving showbiz professionals an opportunity to work with us and learn in a supportive environment that doesn't treat them like a garbage.

Speaking of getting treated like garbage- here's a story for you. There was a period of time when my sisters were working as PA's on films and productions around town. They were learning about lighting and production and trying to make some connections. It was better than waitressing. Well one sister got a job on a HUGE movie. HUGE HUGE HUGE. Big budget. Many days of work. She was thrilled. This beautiful, funny talented filmmaker saw this as her opportunity to take her experience and put it to work. Get this. They paid her a bare minimum to be a slave. Seriously. She was working insane hours in a stressful atmosphere. They had her running errands like a madwoman. One day she called me and asked me to come pick her up. She was going to quit. I zoomed downtown and she came out of the building a couple of minutes later. She walked over to me and promptly vomited her guts out in a garbage can. Then she cried for a second or two and then smiled with relief. It was like she'd be let out of jail. I will never ever operate a set like that or treat anyone like that. If you can't treat people with respect and afford to pay them a living wage-DON'T MAKE MOVIES.

When I started producing I had to teach myself everything. I couldn't afford fancy budgeting software. I also had no idea what I was doing. I mean I had some idea. I'd produced a bit in college and I certainly understood all of the aspects of the theatre at least from my many years as an actress. But truly, when I started producing I had to learn the most important tool VERY quickly. How to NOT alienate people. When you don't know anything you have to ask questions. You have to learn how to ask them in a way so that people will want to answer them. You also have to learn how to ask them in a way that doesn't make you look like an inexperienced buffoon. You're reputation is all you'll ever have that's worth anything. You don't want to appear to be a stalker. You want to be graceful, have humor, and be your best representative. You have to know how cool you are. Look at what you know as opposed to what you don't know. Look at the journey as a journey...not an endless marathon with a short time limit to the finish line.

Remember that when you start you may not KNOW anything, but you can DO anything. So just begin.....

#2-THE BIZ OF THE BIZ...

If I were to run my own acting school every student would leave knowing how to produce a play and a film. Since my college graduation when most of my formal acting training was completed, I have spoken to many actors who went to school but haven't done any real acting-or rather anything they're proud of in years!

Acting schools can handicap actors. That's right. I said it. I went to many many acting schools over 12 years and I have to say that besides basic technique I was given no real practical tools to help me survive as an artist. Granted, success as an actors has everything to do with skill and talent, but it also requires business sense. Sure...it's great a can create an entire room with just my imagination and cry on cue.... but what happens when I'm not in a show? What is I don't get the part? How do I keep acting when I don't have a job?

The answer is MAKE YOUR OWN WORK HAPPEN! Yes. That's right. YOU do it. This may seem daunting to those of you who have no idea what to do with a hammer, but I'll tell you how I did it and how it has helped my acting career ten fold.

#1-SURVIVAL

I'm an actress- first and foremost. It is my best skill. It is what I am here to do. I know this. I am also a comedian, a teacher, and a film/theatre producer. I also sell real estate. I've had to navigate my way through jobs until I found my way. This is where I will share my experiences and discoveries as I travel a path as a gal in showbiz.

Sadly, when most actors say they are actors most people assume they must be waiting tables. They assume this because it is generally true. Artists of every kind struggle with finding a way to pay the bills in a way that makes them feel good about themselves. I'm convinced that this is because employers have a bad association with artists and feel their careers are an interference with the way the world works. What they don't realize is that actors can be the most loyal and fabulous employees who will do anything for you. Just let them go to auditions! Appreciate them. Encourage them. It's not their fault they were born with this talent.

My path is like any artist. A labyrinth and puzzle pieces leading me step by step through the gauntlet of survival. It's the same challenge for anyone who wants to do anything in show biz- survival. Yes..when you want to be in one of the most competitive businesses there is, chances are survival while you try to reach your goals will be a challenge. A huge challenge. In the beginning I babysat, waitressed, hosted, and answered phones. Those are what I call "typical" actor survival jobs. What I learned is that I'm a terrible waitress, but I'm funny. As long as everyone else at the restaurants I worked at understood making people laugh is what got me 20% tips and left me alone, I was fine. I was lucky enough to have 2 jobs like that. The other restaurants didn't have the pleasure of my company for very long. I've met many actors who have shriveled into dry, hard husks from working in restaurants. It's one of the saddest things ever. I was fortunate enough to have people in my life who reminded me I was an artist first and foremost and I had to honor that. To do that meant I needed to find a survival job that nurtured me and didn't kill me.

I started to temp. I figured I could stand an office as long as I wasn't there long enough to get involved with office politics or gossip. I am certain to this day that if companies just eliminated all of the hang out, gossip, liquid lunch, chit chat, water cooler, cigarette breaks of corporate America then everyone could get a work day squeezed into 4 hours and go home. I plan to try this theory when I'm working for my production company full time. I'm very efficient.

So..temping. Day 1 my supervisor pulls me aside and tells me to stop working so fast. I thought I misunderstood him. He was giving me little assignment here and there as his assistant and I was ripping through them like gangbusters. Like I said, a 4 hour day and work ethic like mine would made a better world. Anyway, he wanted me to "milk it". Stretch the filing, sorting, alphabetizing, whatever until 5pm when we would all run to the elevator like the building was on fire. I found "milking" was like a slow horrible death and a pox on my soul.

Luckily for me the next day I got a job offer. A small event firm run by a friend wanted to bring me on to produce events for huge non for profits. They would pay me $10 more than I was making is Lazy Town, and I'd be working with a bunch of young and creative women. I left at lunch and the temp agency put a hex on me. I didn't care. I just got my first paying gig in producing!

Links: My favorite waitressing job was in college at MY HERO in New Paltz, NY