#9- THE CULT OF PERSONALITY

I've mentioned my new entrance into a certain "underground performance scene" in NYC. It began with Pennie's Open Mic on the Lower East Side. It's been 3 weeks now. I've regularly attended each week. I've performed twice. My students have attended at my request. I wish I'd known this world when I began as a solo performer. Penny herself said to me how much she loves this "magical train wreck" of talent and people. That's exactly what it is. Here's why it's different than any other "scene" in NYC. It's the instinct to support to GROW as an artist. I'll explain.

When I started working as a stand up comedian in 1993 I thrust myself into the world of commercial comedy clubs. Filled with what seemed to be polished, professional comedians...all men...I was quickly intimidated. I was only given 5 minutes to perform but was required to bring every last human being I knew to pay a cover and two drink minimum. If I didn't I did not get my 5 minutes. So as I'd stand in the lobby sweating and worrying about "my people" showing up the show would begin...with other comics...who brought no one it seemed. As the years went on I learned that these comics we not famous. At all. They were comics who trolled around town night after night, club after club, open mic after open mic until the wee hours of the morning seeking "stage time". They were stage time leeches. King Schmoozers. Creatures of the night. Me? I had a nice smile.

Open mics were disillusioning. Nobody watched. The room was filled with "comics" who had their head down, scribbling into their notebooks while others performed. It was incredibly disconcerting, but at the time I traveled with a small band of fledgling comics who forced me to go to these things. I felt on the outside. Naive. Young. Weird. Tricked. Under-drugged and pure. Could NYC really be this un-nurturing?

As time marched on I found others who felt as I did. They craved a more supportive scene where they didn't have to be a slave to bringing people. Slowly we all began producing our own shows. They were a step up from open mics because they were pre-booked. It was a whole different hang and it's where I found my solo voice. But yet and still...something was and is missing from that scene...

The cult of personality. Joe Yoga, an incredibly eclectic musician and a nice and genuine human described the "new"scene I've come upon as "the cult of personality". It is the perfect way to describe this. It's a place for artists who thrive on "the personality" of others. Sitting and watching a truly brave and unique performance that really comes from an artists core is like electricity. It's food. These performers are performing from who they essentially are. Not like something they saw on TV or some "idea" of showbiz they think to be commercial enough for someone to want to pay them for it. It's them. Nobody can sit and scribble what they are doing in their notebook or even attempt to imitate what they are seeing. It's impossible. It's magic. It's why they were born.

Ok that's heavy. But here's why I have discovered this "scene" when I have. At this particular moment. It's because prior to finding it, I had finally gotten "in my body". In it. I get Samantha Jones. Not only do I get her, I really like her. What I perform and create is from so deep inside me it's like not only when you see me get up on stage do you say Hey! Theres that red head again.., but when I perform you'll immediatly understand what makes me different. It makes sense why I am here, creating, and giving it to people to enjoy. It's not just for me. I'm the vessel...the engine...the housing for these messages. I'm happy to say...it's HILARIOUS! It's so fun. What comes out of me is totally and completely original, ridiculous, and damn funny.

I got to show this part of myself to the gang at Pennies on Tuesday. Their reaction felt like being tossed into the air and floating in the stars. They got it. They get me. I'm very grateful and very fortunate.

You learn when you perform, but you also learn when you watch. To watch a true and original performance reminds me I will always grow as a performer and I owe it to everyone to be brave and take risks of my own. I urge the roving"comics" to stop roving. Sit and witness and grow a little. It's worth it. The work will humble you. Don't judge it. Just watch it. Don't just sign up and leave only to return when it's your time to perform. You're missing out if you do. Trust me. I've been in both worlds.

This summer I will continue to sit with my hands at my sides and surrender to this gift of watching these amazing people. I'll also share my stuff and promise to write more than I have in the past year. I've officially joined the cult... and I'm staying ( ;