#10- Seven Minutes in Heaven

I'm standing backstage at the Under St. Marks theatre snapping on my handcuffs...a total shocker for Paul even though he's seen this piece before. I'm not really the "handcuffs type". It's 12:30am and my name will be called any minute. Penny's on the reserve list now so we only get 5 minutes each. As a result I cut my opener to this piece which includes me actually dressing on stage using the audience as my "mirror". That's the beauty of the work I try to do. It moves and breathes with the circumstances I'm performing in. I've had to learn to not be rigid. To remember my piece is in service of the people watching it. I cater to them. I take them in. Acting is reacting. No fourth wall allowed. Nothing precious. Just real and in the moment. Raw.

Each week as I get further and further in the "Art Star"scene, I am humbled. Each person has their own level of commercial success happening. Either they're producing or touring soon or just finished a run. None of that matters here. Here at the open mic it's about the work. The craft of evolving a piece. I see it when people come up on the stage. The have a mission. It's like this is their last 7 minutes on stage and they are determined to drink every last drop.

I stand backstage and I listen. People are tired. A little drunk. A little high. It's late. Many have left but many have stayed. The ones who stay are like me. They find the value in watching the whole show. Also, it's the one year anniversary of the show so theres a whole sweet love for seeing this night through. I feel lucky to be here. Week 4 and they all treat me like I'm one of the gang.

Names are called. People have left. I'm getting closer to bringing my piece out. I'm excitied and intrigued to see how it lands. How it comes out of me. I never know until I'm out there and I hear them breathing. I'm excited to bring this piece to these people. It's right up their ally.

I brought friends with me tonight. They left early. These are my friends who I introduce my incredible discoveries to. Like "Rock and Roll Karaoke" at Arlene's Grocery. We went there every week for 2 years straight , I think. It was a spiritual experience for me. Just like this scene has become. I wanted them to see it. I wanted to tell them who each person was: Master Lee, John Murdock, luckydave, Ben Couch, Penny, New Guy, Marsha, Joe Yoga..all of these people...these characters...how can I sum it up. I can't. They have to experience it for themselves. Until I performed the ballerina I did for all of them last week and they all talked to me, I was wandering around and watching and listening...absorbing them. I do this when I'm in a new group. Takes awhile. But once you have me...I'm hard to shake ( ;

Penny introduces me like a rock star. Man. First time I've been introduced as an "amazing chic" and it sends me over the moon. Who is this Penny? She should have her own TV show. Probably the last thing in the world she wants. She plays the bass guitar. That's very cool.

I come out in my 1940's vintage garb and my handcuffs. I adjust the stage and take a seat. I see John Murdock slam into his seat and snuggle down like he's getting ready to watch his all-time favorite Alfred Hitchcock film. John looks like James Dean and when you look in his eyes you know he has the key to the underworld...in a funny way...how is that possible? He gets my darkness. It's awesome. His laughter boarders on criminal insanity when I perform. My favorite kind.

A man who calls himself George takes pictures during my set. He is very interesting to me. I only met him last night. I can't help but take him in during my piece and at times intentionally pose. Click click click. How can you ignore that? I've never had that experience before. Very interesting. Fed me.

I'd talk about my piece...but you can watch it on You Tube... . I thought it might resonate with this group, but I had to make sure my performance was vulnerable and open. I can very easily turn into a female Hannible Lechter in this, so my goal was to stay open and honest. Beauty on the outside to lure them in...then snap their necks. This is the characters intention. Sweet, huh?

Paul howled. Penny was throwing all of her positive vibes my way. John was convulsing. The room gave me plenty of time to pause and take them in. It was great, but I became worried about the 5 minutes..wishing it was 7. I kept going. Lucky Dave was in the booth and promised to ice my piece with a delicious blackout. I kept going. It was different but good. Felt like this character finally had a home. A place where her wild antics of tongue cutting was finally understood. Ha! That's sick and great.

Maybe to honor your art...truly...you have to find that on-stage place where you belong. Does that make sense? When writing I try to combine the beauty and hilarity of people with their resonant and very lonely undertones. We're all so lonely, aren't we? Ultimately? Isn't so much of our lives just wandering around asking and hoping to be understood? Man. It sits with me this morning as I watch a crazy woman report the weather and I drink my very dark French roast. It's raw.

I'm moved once again. Inspired. I leave town Friday for 2 weeks I think. Vacation. Ice cream and the beach. Funny. For some reason this feeling of awakening is more of a vacation feeling than clam strips could bring me right now. It's heaven.

John has asked me to do a half hour or so in his show tomorrow. I think I will. Come.

God Tastes Like Chicken