#16- A SQUARE

Square. It's a term I suddenly brought back into my life like a vengeance from a GIDGET episode. It really says it all, doesn't it. "What a square!" It's like the lowest. I love it. It makes me laugh. Right now I feel like a square. I'm sitting on my bed wrapped in a pink robe with a plastic sheath wrapped around my head like a swami. I'm soaking my head in henna and drinking a light beer. That's right babies. I am officially rocking out!

Here's another term...FA SHIZ. Now I'm pretty sure that's from the film JUNO...which I've seen about a zillion times. If anyone gave me that film as a gift I would make out with them immediately. FA SHIZ in my world means FER SURE. Or FER SERIOUS...another term I picked up from my sister and from this comedian I dated briefly. FA SHIZ.

So my life is about to "UN-SQUARE" itself. I won't go into much detail as to how I got to this point. But let's say things are suddenly getting interesting. I think I have unsurfaced a new part of my self, and I like it. Its a grounded grooviness. A risky cool thing...oh I know what it is! It's that thing I admired in cool boys when I was in the throws of puberty. This sexy confidence I couldn't believe ANYONE could have at the age of 14. But these were the rare boys who had all this AND were nice. To everyone. And funny. I really admired those qualities and wanted to be like them. Finally at 37 I think I am. Cool. Funny...ANd maybe even a tad edgy. Ooh yeah. That's right. EDGE! Cut it.

Ok so talk about square..I'm Maid of Honor this weekend. Now that's something to wear taffeta about. But here's the deal. No one has EVER asked me to be one before. Ever. I sorta started to feel bummed about it. Like I'm too weird for anyone to want to have stand for them at their stupid wedding. Why?I'm funny! I'm chatty. I can hold a train. But my friend Marca wanted me. I feel honored. For my speech I wrote a song about the bride and the groom. It's funny. They'll like it. That's not square. It's wat cool nice boys do.

I was a girl scout. But my leader was a pagan witch. That's square-then not square.

I played with barbies...and erector sets..and slept with my very first tool..a hammer. That's square...not square...and weird.

I wear jeans in an office that doesn't allow jeans...not square.

Joe Yoga did this great mini play at the open mic. He ends up yelling at this cab driver who almost runs him over. He yells and says he's mad cuz he has to go to his job and talk to a bunch of SQUARES!!! Man when he yelled squares with such passionate anger I howled with laughter. It's so true. Like when you're in the elevator with some guy in a suit who looks a little sweaty and desperate. Oh man. What a square!!!! When like 3 guys get on that are on their way to some liquid lunch and laugh really loud at things that don't matter and then get silent and check their blackberries...SQUARES!!! When anyone talks to me about anything from their corporate lives...SQUARE!! I believe strongly if you are going to give your life away to some corporate for a good part of the day then as soon as you leave that place you never speak of it again until you go back the next morning. They buy your soul for only the hours they pay. That's it.

So let's all UN-SQUARE ourselves somehow. Let's not jabber about other people's dreams. Let's not roll around in hum drum. Let's not think we're important because we have a Starbucks in one hand and a $1000 aerodynamic baby stroller in the other. Let's be edgy. On the edge. Not quite safe and fall into someone else's arms. FA SHIZ!